Easter Weekend

Easter weekend and the mass exodus begins, except it hasn't really this time because it doesn't fit with the school holidays, so Rob is very busy, and I am sitting wondering whether to count the hours before he gets home or should I just go to bed. It even snowed this morning so that is how unseasonable the timing of this easter is, or maybe we are just having mad weather, and it can't yet decide if it is spring or if it is still winter. The flowers in my garden are trying to tell me it is spring, but the frost and the snow are hanging on for dear life, so I will go with winter.
Josef said today that Rob was fat, and I replied that he was getting thinner, he said no, his hair getting thinner, there's nothing like a three year old to bring you back to earth, although I haven't noticed a thinning up top, I shall have to check the next time I see him.
Felix has finally cut a canine tooth, so perhaps we will get some more sleep, or maybe he is reserving that privelidge for when all his other teeth have put in an appearance.

I didn't iron and now the pile grows ever higher, threatening to engulf me in a tidal wave of creased clothes at any moment. Felix refuses to be put down and screams when I leave the room, so I am starting to spend my evenings lying on our bed reading, while he eyes me suspiciously, as if I might get up and run out at any moment. Josef sits in his room allowing daddy to read him a story, safe in the knowledge that he will get two stories when I finally make good my escape!

Time to myself

Josef is at playgroup, Felix is fast asleep, and yet I am sat watching property programmes and doing bugger all, does this make any sense, when there is a swaying tower of ironing in the cupboard, and washing sat downstairs waiting to be hung out. I will curse myself later!

Rain Rain Rain

Raining and miserable nearly all day so have been cooped up watching films and trying to decide what to do with a massive stockpile of vintage clothes that aren't too fabulous, any ideas??? Question- If your health visitor gave you advice which you knew to be rubbish, what would happen if you told her this and gave her the correct information? Or in the words of hubby if you turned round and told her to f**k off?

Training day

Had a training day today for our breastfeeding support group. It was really interesting learning about combining breast and bottle feeding and how to support mothers who want to do this. But there were times when I wanted to cry, if only I had known all these things when Josef was tiny or had support when feeding him I would probably have fed him for longer. At other times though I felt very proud of myself for feeding him for seven months despite him being in and out of hospital, but it was a real eye opener. The lovely Felix came with me and is still teething like mad, and now I am unable to leave the room with an ear splitting wail erupting from him as I go through the door. I am hoping this is just a phase, and the good news is he went to sleep with me sitting on the bed tonight, instead of rocking him, hooray! Josef continues to become a little person and today was treated to chocolate buttons and a milky way by my friends who were looking after him, so he was happy for five minutes.

Baby Training

I went to bed at ten to escape the brother in law and it turned out he didn't arrive until one with my absent husband, absent because the races are on so it is all work work work while I stay here on my own. These are the weeks I wish I had a job for just one day so I could see a few more grown up faces. Have some training tomorrow for mixing breastfeeding with bottle, and how to do it successfully,and am thinkiing I might take some tips away for myself, as we had another all nighter with the lovely Felix last night, who didn't want to sleep unless it was in a very awkward position with my arm lodged somewhere behind his neck, and should I be daring enough to try and move it he would awaken and scream. Plus, add a three year old who came looking for his mummy and daddy because we left him on sunday night and you don't get a recipe for a very restful night. My eyelids are drooping as we speak!

What school????

Have just been to a parents evening for pre-school at the posh end of the village and what I want to know is, is it really worth all the fuss and the stress? Does a child at this pre-school really have a better quality of life at forty than a child who stays at the playgroup? All the parents are fussing round like headless chickens worrying whether they will make the list and I am just thinking does it really matter that much for a three year old. PLus I have the alcohlic brother in law from hell making his way to my door as we speak and I don't think I can stand it!

Too Much Wind

THERE IS TOO MUCH WIND TO DO ANYTHING, WHICH INCLUDES running, gardening and taking the dog for a sensible walk before we are all blown out of the playing fields on to the golf course. I am bored of being on my own in the evenings, the only person I talk to on the phone is my mum. I think I need to fet out more. It wouldn't be so lonely being a mum if Rob was at home more, but it is rubbish, especially with weeks like these when all he does is work and I have to do the parental type things, like attend pre-school open evenings by myself!

Cheltenham Race week

It is Cheltenham Race week this week, so Rob has disappeared into the shady world of cooking for the rich and famous, not to be seen again until late on saturday night when all the revellers head home. I am worn out after the luxury of a full night's sleep on sunday evening, a few glasses of wine and a fab dinner for two, we could have almost been a young free couple again, except when we were, we would have been more likely to be sitting in the pub getting very drunk, than having a fancy night away. Josef is in terror mode and even told me that he didn't like me yesterday which is something he hasn't done before, and I was quite upset, but convinced myself that he was still punishing me for going away on sunday night. Despite this, I definetely think we should do it more often.

Away to a hotel

I am being whisked away for dinner and a hotel tomorrow night, so am hoping to get time to paint my toenails, so my feet look like that of a sophisticated woman, instead of a trashy worn out mother!. Felix is aleep in his chair in the living room, just hope my sister, the trainee nurse is ready for an evening with him, and Josef is in bed with a high teperature, so here's to even making it to the hotel!

Washing Machine

My washing machine is no longer mine, and I will have to scrub dirty nappies until my poor hands are chapped and covered in chilblains. Or I could buy a pair of rubber gloves. Felix is crying again and I am hopefully continuing to type, optimistic that he may fall asleep by himself. But his cries are getting louder and I am going to have to give him a cuddle before I can think about a shower. What a selfless life I lead!

Life decisions

I am still pondering my life's path and have decided to join the NCT breastfeeding counsellor's course. I think I have to just get on with it or I might go bonkers. How do you cope when you stay at home full time, and all your friends/social life/ outside interest dwindle to no bigger than the eye of a needle. It is a very scary time and no one warns you that after that door closes when hubby returns to work after paternity leave, and your childless friends stop calling and visiting after the novelty of baby wears off and you are not the same any more, that it is just you and the baby.
On top of that I have to return my washing machine to my friend, so really it is not my washing machine at all, so we will have to beg, steal and borrow the use of other people's until I manage to get one from B Grade Electrics, or find one on the Freecycle website, it's a long shot, but it just might work.

Snubbed at playgroup

How do you cope when the mother of one of Your little ones friends ignores you? I was quite surprised at this woman as we have just sorted a table of 14!!!!! for her on one of the busiest nights of the year (she did phone claiming Rob had organised it for her and got very cross when they were unable to do it at the right time). I think she should be buying me a bunch of flowers instead.

In other news our skip has arrived, so I am very excited as we start to empty the garage and make my dream of one level living a reality. That should send the woman next door into a state of nervous anxiety, as she is trying to sell her house, and yesterday moved our bin and recycle box back to our front door before I could manage to do it, in the belief that this may put potential buyers off.

Special treats

Mother's day may be over, but I am still basking in the effect of a new hair cut, a morning in town on my own, a lie in, and being taken out for a meal, I am feeling very lucky and spoilt, I wonder how long I can warm myself in the glow from these lovely treat, before reality kicks back in, my hair stops looking nice, and I continue to be knackered? It is nice while it lasts though!

Oh and Bugger, I didn't win. Although I did get a couple of numbers, and I am never sure why this always makes me feel less disappointed that if none of the ones I had chosen had come up!

Mothering Sunday

I look forward with hope to tomorrow when I can lie in bed, read a book in peace, wait for my breakfast in bed and snooze on and off until my own mother arrives and needs some pampering. In reality I know the scenario will be- Awake in the gathering light of dawn with child number one either breathing over me or calling me. Feed Baby and wait patiently for husband to wake up. Give up waiting and start nudging him, stop before I get too cross, go downstairs, carryout usual routine of breakfast, letting dog out, washing up etc before I take children upstairs, get them dressed and wait not so patiently for husband to awake, before losing my temper, declaring Mother's Day is ruined, and stomping to the living room to endure the delights of Cbeebies for some time before husband emerges apologising, and makes me a cup of tea, not before, however, having a cigarette and drinking the coffee I made him. In his defence he is a chef and will work until an undecent hour tonight, and I am hopeful I have just described a worst case scenario. In my defence I just want a lie in after eons of sleeplessness and a bit of pampering. And if I don't get it I can maybe hang on to the fact that my best friend has bought me a pamper day to accompany her on her 's that she got as a Christmas Present. What a star!!!!

The National Lottery

I have bought my first lottery ticket in months and am eagerly awaiting those big money ball to be drawn. I do this every time-
1 Buy a ticket
2 Dream of everything I could do with a big win (including charitable donations of course)
3 Convince myself I am going to win (even if it is only £300, 000 we could still have a new house couldn't we, or maybe we should only spend some of it on a house and save the rest for a rainy day, we could go on holiday, pay off our debts, pay off our families mortgages, you get the idea)
4 Eagerly await the draw with bated breath.
5 Watch the balls come out
6 Rip up my ticket and curse my niavety
7 Wait for next week.

Sound familiar?

A Proper Saturday

We had a proper saturday today, kids round to play in the morning, friend round this afternoon, and now I am going to watch a film, on my own of course but you can't have it all. Felix only woke up once last night, but the weeks of sleeplessness and tummy bugs have taken their toll, resulting in a very ratty mother indeed. I shoudl have tomorrow off as it is Mothering Sunday, but we shall see, we live in hope!